Just crap

I was going to post what I have/had been doing over the weekend, but this Shark Tank is just too good not to share.

Shark Tank: Where’s Waldo’s desk?

Not long after one regional Internet service provider acquires another ISP, the ex-owner of the acquiree calls HQ with terrible news: Her lead technician has just died on the job of a heart attack.

“She was hysterical, and we were all stunned,” reports a pilot fish watching it all happen.

Fortunately, one of the late lead tech’s staffers has already been picked out as a possible successor. So after the lead tech has been laid to rest, the new kid is promoted to manage day-to-day operations at the combined ISPs’ tech center.

“It was after that that the extreme emotional shock the ex-owner had apparently suffered manifested itself,” fish says.

The first thing the new kid does is rearrange the tech center so all the technicians can see a whiteboard that shows postings of outages and estimated repair times.

“The techs seemed to like the configuration, as it saved time and they didn’t have to continually put customers on hold to ask about outages,” says fish.

“But apparently the change was too much for the ex-owner to deal with. She gave the new kid an office — in the storage room at the back of the building. His heavy wooden desk was moved back to the new office with a nice view of the rooftop and pigeon droppings.”

With no adult supervision, anarchy and horseplay erupt in the tech center. Two days later, the big wooden desk is moved back to the tech center.

But she’s not done. “In a weird turn of interior decorating mania, the room was rearranged for no benefit or reason,” fish says. “Apparently the harmony of the room was off, because two days later it was rearranged again. Then three days after that. Then the next day the new kid’s desk was moved to an adjoining room the size of a large closet, where he shared seating with a woman who we, to this day, do not know what function she served.

“Personality conflicts arose in this confined space. The desk migrated again.”

In fact, the desk continues to wander from room to room, while the new kid deals with day-to-day operational issues. “The ex-owner sometimes moved it over lunch hours, sometimes during off hours, sometimes by magic, we think,” says fish.

“I think she was trying to drive him nuts, or maybe she was just trying to maintain some control — she was no longer the owner, and it was only his desk.

“Eventually the new owners told her to go away and make sales calls and leave the tech center to the techs.

“Which for the most part happened — with just the odd desk migration from time to time.”